Mismatched Mess

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Inside/Out: Issue 04 | Fear (A Collaborative Blog Hop!)

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One of my favorite bloggers, Ashley from The Wine Stain, did a guest post on Clear The Way recently (you can read her outlook on ‘age’  here), which I absolutely loved. I ended up scrolling through more posts from CTW and found this Blog Hop!

Every month, Danielle + Kate team up for a collaborative series Inside/Out to share how a particular trait manifests in their own personal spaces – minds, hearts + spirits – and on the outside with others in their lives. I love that this is a blog hop and was welcome to join in by writing my own post  for Issue 04: Fear.insideout_fear-1-1

 

 INSIDE


My childhood was spent in much fear from my constant confusion in trying to figure out where I fit in in the world. I remember it fully started in the fifth grade when I chose to leave all my friends behind and go to the only middle school in town that offered advanced placement classes. I knew no one and really struggled finding friends. Most of the time I would hide in the bathroom or empty spots in the hallway during free time. I had been with the same few classmates since Kindergarten who were natural friends and didn’t know how to make friends with others. It caused me to be incredibly quiet, anti-social and awkward. That awkward part made it easy for some students and even a teacher to pick on me. There was constant inner turmoil that made me fear stepping outside of my own quiet thoughts and into this new world. (It wasn’t until I got into history fair, invention convention, and gifted and talented programs that I was able to slowly make a few friends. It took a while to understand how to use these tools of creativity to connect with people.) I think this was when I really started reflecting on being happy with myself. I struggled with the anxiety to fit in, but that struggle shaped me into who I am today.

OUT


Going back to learning the tools to use to connect with people;  I struggled with that all through junior high and high school as well. However, as I began to shape my interests (theatre, art, music…) I became close friends with people who had the same passions as me. It took me a long time to come out of my shell, but the more I put myself out there, the more I was comfortable with myself and with others.

Even today, I find myself constantly battling my inner introvert, not because I don’t like who I am, but because sometimes it’s easy to let that fear of wondering whether I fit in overcome me. The best thing I’ve learned is that I don’t have to fit in with anyone. Being happy with who I am and what I can contribute to society far outweighs any anxiety I may have. There are so many things I’m unafraid of, for instance this giant move to England coming up soon. I don’t cower in my shyness when I need to speak to people or go places. I cower when life requires me to open up just a bit more. I tend to keep a wall between people who could become close friends and myself. It’s a matter of letting go and allowing people to see me as a vulnerable person that I’m realizing and working on now.

YOUR TURN


1. Write your Inside/Out post, using the imagery provided if you’d like.
2. Choose “click here” + follow the instructions. Your post will show at the bottom of everyone’s post that uses the code, so you only need to enter once.
3. If you’d like to, use #insideoutfear on social media to promote your post.

Click here to enter your link and view the other amazing bloggers who joined in!

*Note: the above image should only be used for Inside/Out posts and proper credit for Lucky Number Seven + Clear the Way should be given. Click image for original source.

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Author: Alyssa

I am an East Texan graphic designer living in Canterbury, Kent, UK with my husband. My favorite sport is rearranging my furniture. When I'm not writing blogs, you can find me making fun of myself on Snapchat or Twitter, or being hipster on Instagram. Coffee, vintage and The Office reruns for life. Find me elsewhere: Snapchat: lyssssabeth | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

3 thoughts on “Inside/Out: Issue 04 | Fear (A Collaborative Blog Hop!)

  1. Alyssa, I am so proud of what you have accomplished in your short life. I just read your blog (inside/out) and wanted to cry. Just want to say that I wish you had confided your fears to someone. (I would say Papa and me, but you knew where you ALWAYS stood with us; we would have been incensed about how students were treating you!) You have always been so talented and beautiful. Yes, you probably had trouble relating to most of your classmates because you didn’t think the way they thought or act the way they acted. Your thoughts and actions were way above theirs. (SO you still know where you stand with us!) By the way – you have always been winsome. I have the videos to prove that to you! LOL! Love you bunches and bunches. Grandma

  2. Alyssa, how did I miss this? I’m so glad you ended up scrolling around my blog and found this hop. I love what you shared here. Your openness is really great and I can totally relate. Thanks for taking part!

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