Mismatched Mess

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Inside/Out: Issue 04 | Fear (A Collaborative Blog Hop!)

 

 

One of my favorite bloggers, Ashley from The Wine Stain, did a guest post on Clear The Way recently (you can read her outlook on ‘age’  here), which I absolutely loved. I ended up scrolling through more posts from CTW and found this Blog Hop!

Every month, Danielle + Kate team up for a collaborative series Inside/Out to share how a particular trait manifests in their own personal spaces – minds, hearts + spirits – and on the outside with others in their lives. I love that this is a blog hop and was welcome to join in by writing my own post  for Issue 04: Fear.insideout_fear-1-1

 

 INSIDE


My childhood was spent in much fear from my constant confusion in trying to figure out where I fit in in the world. I remember it fully started in the fifth grade when I chose to leave all my friends behind and go to the only middle school in town that offered advanced placement classes. I knew no one and really struggled finding friends. Most of the time I would hide in the bathroom or empty spots in the hallway during free time. I had been with the same few classmates since Kindergarten who were natural friends and didn’t know how to make friends with others. It caused me to be incredibly quiet, anti-social and awkward. That awkward part made it easy for some students and even a teacher to pick on me. There was constant inner turmoil that made me fear stepping outside of my own quiet thoughts and into this new world. (It wasn’t until I got into history fair, invention convention, and gifted and talented programs that I was able to slowly make a few friends. It took a while to understand how to use these tools of creativity to connect with people.) I think this was when I really started reflecting on being happy with myself. I struggled with the anxiety to fit in, but that struggle shaped me into who I am today.

OUT


Going back to learning the tools to use to connect with people;  I struggled with that all through junior high and high school as well. However, as I began to shape my interests (theatre, art, music…) I became close friends with people who had the same passions as me. It took me a long time to come out of my shell, but the more I put myself out there, the more I was comfortable with myself and with others.

Even today, I find myself constantly battling my inner introvert, not because I don’t like who I am, but because sometimes it’s easy to let that fear of wondering whether I fit in overcome me. The best thing I’ve learned is that I don’t have to fit in with anyone. Being happy with who I am and what I can contribute to society far outweighs any anxiety I may have. There are so many things I’m unafraid of, for instance this giant move to England coming up soon. I don’t cower in my shyness when I need to speak to people or go places. I cower when life requires me to open up just a bit more. I tend to keep a wall between people who could become close friends and myself. It’s a matter of letting go and allowing people to see me as a vulnerable person that I’m realizing and working on now.

YOUR TURN


1. Write your Inside/Out post, using the imagery provided if you’d like.
2. Choose “click here” + follow the instructions. Your post will show at the bottom of everyone’s post that uses the code, so you only need to enter once.
3. If you’d like to, use #insideoutfear on social media to promote your post.

Click here to enter your link and view the other amazing bloggers who joined in!

*Note: the above image should only be used for Inside/Out posts and proper credit for Lucky Number Seven + Clear the Way should be given. Click image for original source.